well hello

well hello

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Things change, man.

I had a nervous breakdown on the phone with my mother today, basically about school and how much I hate it, and how much I resent the program I'm in, and just my hatred towards the education system in this country in general. I was sobbing, and freaked her out a little. She was at work, and told me she'd call me later. I waited all day, I was worried and thinking she didn't care and wouldn't call. Then, she did. She wanted to wait till after nine, so I wouldn't be using minutes on my cell phone.

She offered me a place, she said I could come home. She said it didn't matter if I finished college this year or not, all that mattered was my happiness. She said she is worried about me, because every time we talk I cry, and because she is intuitive and can really feel the depths of my depression.

I might do it. I would have to decide tonight, basically, because tomorrow I am supposed to make my school schedule for next semester.

I think I might. 

I need to think.



Blue Butterfly said...

I've gone through every single thing you described, and I still go through it every time exams crop up (which, in 2010, has been every single bloody month and is going to continue that way for the rest of the year).

I'm so happy for you that you have a mum who cares about your happiness more than your academic achievements. I think taking a semester off would be a good chance to do something for yourself. I dream about that sometimes: the things I'd do if I could take a break from school, the places I'd go. Unfortunately, I have to complete my course within a set time frame because I've signed a bond with the government (all medical students have to do that here).

I hope you find your little ray of sunshine.

*big hug*

Flushed said...

I hope you feel better Sar.

I had a rough day yesterday too. I drove all the way to school and I couldn't stop crying so I just drove back home. I'm thinking of getting help too.


Stick Thin said...

I absolutely agree with your Mom. You are young. Who says you need to finish ASAP. If you don't find your sanity and hapiness, how will the next semester go?

I'd say do it. Move home and take time to get restructured. It would be healthy for you in so many ways.

I love you Sar