It's noon and I'm smoking. I work at one-fifteen. Tonight I will see T. for one hour at work, I'll be seeing him for the first time in two weeks.
We have been texting everyday. A decent amount, especially in recent days. We've been sending pictures to each other, as well. Every time he texts me my heart jumps and lights up with glee. It could be a one word text, which it rarely is, and I still am thrilled that he took 20 seconds out of his day to text me. To think of me. Every time he send me a pic of his gorgeous self I immediately save it, and zoom in on his eyes, lol.
I am giddy at some moments, but will remain extremely cautious. If he thinks were jumping back into bed than he's crazy. I say this because there is a lot of sexual innuendo. From both of us, to be fair.
I have no clue what it will be like to be around him at work, alone, just the two of us. Only one hour. Then I leave. He stays. I have no plans for this evening and am really just hoping he says something to me before I leave work later, like "hey Sar want to hang out tonight?". Yeah, I would be real happy.
I am allowing myself a few more minutes to smoke and finish my tea and blog.
Then I will start getting ready super early. I have to be looking good (as good as I can look at work) (which isn't that good ha) because I want T. to notice me. I mean, notice. I have hope. But hope dangles. And hope fades real quick when things go the opposite way you'd like/expect them too. Which I am praying doesn't happen. I like him. I want us to keep being friends and texting, I've had many laughs these days because of him. I want him to liiiike me. You know. We'll see.
Nothing to eat today, obviously. I binged a little late last night, I should have just went to bed. Jelly beans *blushes* I know, I know, candy, what the fuck. But they were cheap and I really just wanted them so badly.
Think thin today.
I will be!